Oscar Fever - they have a pill for that! Ask Britney Murphy

While it takes every effort I have to admit this, it’s time I came out of the Vera Wang and Armani Privé filled closet and say it: I LOVE WATCHING THE OSCARS.... Oh, I can feel the shame spreading through me like the dye they inject people with before a cat scan, but it’s time I came clean.

This Hollywood award-giving ritual has been my guilty pleasure since I was a little girl. My mum would always ask me if I wanted to watch it with her, to which I would reply “no way lady, that’s soooo boring” then I’d go upstairs and watch it alone on another TV, like the sad little boy reading the ‘Never-ending Story’ book in his attic under a sheet.

Just like a nun who's had a one night stand with a rock-star, I vowed never to let people find out... find out just what a girl I am when it came to the biggest night in Hollywood, the tears I cry at the speeches, the ‘oohs’ and ‘ahhs’ that escape my mouth when gazing doe-eyed at the flowing frocks, and perhaps worst of all, the “who?” that I absent-mindedly utter when they go on about ‘People we’ve lost this year’.

As I’ve grown older, this surreptitious affair with the Academy Awards has been harder and harder to conceal from people, especially as I have annoying friends who like to throw ‘Oscar Parties’ that are usually tied in with some sort of compulsory fancy-dress theme, actually, the fancy-dress only started after I’d turned down so many invitations that they started to bribe me (fancy dress is like my crack, I freakin love dressing up). It’s just one betrayal after another as I tell them all I have something else on that night, or I have to work etc, when really I spend all day cleaning or shopping to put my mind off it, then go and buy copious amounts of doritoes and chicken strips, and enough vodka and diet coke to make the guy at the store think I’m having a party. Then I turn off my phone, turn off the lights and settle in for the night in my little bubble of anti-social bliss.

It’s the next day that’s possibly the hardest, hearing people at work talk about the Best actress-winner’s speech and not being able to go “oh my god oh my god, I was in tears, and her DRESS! Totally amazing!” and instead just say “oh yeah? were the Oscars on last night, hmm whatever”.

It feels so good to finally be able to say “This is who am I am world, and I’m proud of it, and two gold fingers to you if you don’t it”

So I guess the statue’s out of the bag now.

Peace and Gold Statues!

xxxx

Peej

Time to Rally!

okay, so i'll be the first to admit, I'm one of those women who doesn't really care for sport, but will pretend to act somewhat interested if a boy i'm into likes it... sad i know but every woman is guilty of it in some way at some point or another. Saying that however, there is one sport that i love, more than a fat kid loves cake... and that my friends, is Rally Driving. And february means one thing: 'World Rally Championship' - that's right, the boys are back in town.... driving very quickly.... then they're gone again.

With Sweden out of way and my boy Loeb in second place (yes i know he's not Australian and technically that makes me a traitor to my country, but when he and i marry, then he WILL be Australian... just thinking ahead people!) It's on to Mexico for the next tantalisingly wild driving chronicles involving fast cars and even faster men.... Now just to keep the Fins off the Tequila!

Peace and brrmmmmm

xxxxx

Peej

It's just not cricket!

So England, it’s that time again. That brief period in 18 months when people in my office say things to me like “Looks like Freddie’s gonna knock out your ponting” – Excuse me??? Is that some sort of innuendo good sir?

Yes, it’s the Ashes again. That one time in a blue moon where I hate being Australian, not because we’re necessarily bad, but because people assume that because I’m Australian, I should either know a lot about the game, or at the very least, care. I have to say right that I don’t feel strongly about either point. In my mind, the only sport more boring to watch than cricket is Golf, and at least in Golf they get to drive around in cool little cars, and Golf has even had a cool comedy made about it ‘Happy Gilmore’ even Tennis, coming up 3rd in the boring sports ever has had a half decent movie made about it, hell ‘Wimbledon’ even got some laughs out of me, and I don’t even like Kirsten Dunst!

I just feel like saying to people “can’t you enjoy your pathetic sport without getting me involved?” At the last Ashes test to happen in England, I was fortunate to come out of a conversation about the Ashes with more success than the entire England team did with their win. Here’s how it went.

Co-worker (guy) comes running into my office looking elated and jumping around whooping.
Co-worker: Ha ha, take that aussie, we did it we did it, woooo!
Me: What’s wrong with you?
Co-worker: nothing wrong you idiot, WE did it, we won the Ashes!
Me: what’s the Ashes?
Co-worker: Uh, hello only the biggest cricket game ever
Me: oh cool, whose playing?

Puzzled look on co-worker’s face at this point

Co-worker: what are you serious? It’s a purely England and Australian test.
Me: oh, ok so we played you and lost or something?
Co-worker: yeah you lost! We totally best your guys asses! For the first time in nearly 20 years.
Me: So, you guys haven’t even won in 20 years? you can’t be that good then.

Co-worker starts looking very angry and starts stuttering slightly

Co-worker: look okay, we won this time! Deal with it
Me: well, I guess it’s about time we gave you guys a chance to catch up then!

Peace and balls
xxx Peej

You can mock my week anytime

Yayyy, after what seems like a life time of having to watch my favourite TV show in re-runs on the 'Dave' channel, the new series has now begun.

It felt thrilling and slightly strange to hear the witty satire that i love so much relating to subjects that are now current, such as Michael Jackson's death (what? he died?) and the politician's expenses. Only earlier this week i'd been listening to my favourite satirists going on about John Mccain and Obama fighting on their election campaigns.

While watching and LMAO (yes, i know how to write like the young'ns too) i was forced to remember a game i recently played with some friends on a camping trip called "would you shag them? and where? Sounds crazy I know, but that’s what happens you leave more than women alone together. After going through most the general male celebrities, we started on TV shows, and Mock the Week was brought up, leading us to start going through the line up of comedians. Russell Howard was mentioned first, because he’s the most obviously attractive and youngest. We all agreed that that we would probably shag him anywhere, but he’s more suited to a 4-poster bed in a country B&B… yes, this is what girls’ conversations lead to when we’re not being thrilled enough by male conversation. Anyhow moving on to Dara O’Brien, the jolly Irishman, most us agreed that if we shagged him, it would have be nice, perhaps a picnic blanket in a meadow… somewhere where no-one could see us. When it came Hugh Dennis, it had to be on an office desk, either a business office or a doctor’s office, a bit naughty but still sexy. Then came Frankie Boyle! (that’s what she said, lol) this one took some time…. We all agreed that we would shag him, no question about it, but we couldn’t think of anywhere in which coitus would be appropriate with him. Someone suggested over a pool table in a biker gang’s headquarters, but we then decided even that was a bit too classy, and, in the end, we all agreed that it would have to be up against a biffa bin in an alleyway, with a door slightly ajar somewhere blaring out a Proclaimers song. Alas, the minds of women will never cease to baffle me, even though I AM one. Poor old Andy Parsons though didn’t even rate a mention, we all agreed that there was no way in hell we would shag him, although David Mitchell rated more than one mention, but I won’t go there or I might get too excited!

Peace and Satire!

Xx Peej

On the Vampire Bandwagon

I am slightly ashamed, slightly ecstatic to admit that I, PJ Clapp, have now become addicted to the Twilight book saga. I have nearly finished the 2nd, and already ordered the third online from amazon today....... part of me thinks it's terrible that i have got caught up in Twilight hysteria, part of me loves the fact there's something to read to soothe the pain now that Harry Potter has gone forever.

While i have become addicted to Twilight series of books, i am quite proud to delcare that i have not yet seen the movie, and don't intend to. On a flight back from Australia earlier this year, i started watching it about 19 hours into my flight, and promptly fell asleep within 11 minutes of watching it, only to awake with the credits rolling down the screen. There has only been one other occasion i can recall when i have been able to successfully sleep on a plane, and that was after about 7 minutes of watching 'Moulin Rouge' again, i awoke only a couple of hours later to the credits on the screen. So i guess you can say that i don't much care for the movie 'Twilight', then again, now that i've read the book and know what's going, i might understand what the hell is happening this time.

Speaking of the movie Twilight, I was fortunate enough to be given the DVD of 'How to be' directed by Oliver Irving, which stars Robert Pattinson. Now while i'm a Twilight fan, i'm not in the category of 'Robert Pattinson' fan, and from what i can understand, i must be the only one out there who DOESN'T find this guy amazingly attractive, and when i saw him as Cedric Diggory in Harry Potter, i kinda wanted to punch him... i'm not sure what it was about him, but i felt rather hostile toward him. This was all before i had watched 'How to be' of course. This movie has totally changed the way i see him, and while i'm still not going to call myself a hardcore fan, I do now appreciate him as a good actor, and would love to see him in more comedy roles from now on, as opposed to the pale-faced, dark and serious movies.

I urge everyone to get a copy of 'How to be' Definitely one of the best and funniest movies i've seen this year.

Peace and Vampires,
Peej
xxxxxx

I love White

Ahhh, that pivotal moment that happens at the start of every June, the Isle of Wight festival, the moment you realise that the Music Festivals have well and truly started. And the moment you really wish you had bought tickets.

Last weekend, my boyfriend and i went to a mate's 'festival' in Wrexham, North Wales. It was the most picturesque place i had ever visited in Britain, like a Beatrix Potter novel, a proper cottage and sprawling lanes and green grass and horses. Although it was a small and make shift festival, we still slept in tents.

This weekend we head to Oceanfest in Croyde Bay, Devon. You can't really call it a music fest though, it's more like just a beach festival, with Jason Mraz and Newton Fawkner in the background. Still, should be nice to kick up my heels in the waves.

This will be the first year that i will not be going to any festivals.... actually might head to see Bruce Springsteen at Hard Rock Calling, but not sure yet. I know it's because i'm going to LA for 2 weeks and need to save my money for Vegas and Mexico, but i still can't help feeling that hollow hole inside me crying a little when i watch the acts on TV and the crowd jumping around, and watching f**king Fearne Cotton introduce them, just adds insult to injury.

Ohhhh, next year my prettys, next year

Peace and Guitars!
xxxxxxx
peej

I cannes do anything better than you!

As the Cannes film festival comes to a close and the yachts sail away into the sunset, I am forced to ask: "why wasn't I invited?"
I have decided it is in my destiny to go there next year and rub shoulders with the stars, and maybe rub something else of Robert Pattinson's.... ooh, i'm nasty!

Of all the websites i went to that were keeping track of the festival, i couldn't find one that didn't concentrat on fashion. That's all anybody cared about, who wore what to which screening. I don't think people realise that there are movies going on there. Though i guess if i were there, i would probably just hang out at the parties and not go to see any of the movies either.. i'm such a hypocrite. Still, am hanging out for news of which movies got distribution and which got funding to start shooting... I'd love one of my clients to shoot a big budget feature this year.

Was planning on going to Cannes this year for the Cannes Lions (advertsinig fest) as my boss and i went last year, but due to the f**king credit crunch, that's out the window too. Oh well, I'm sure i'll have just as much fun in Croyde Bay in June! Have attached my pic of the beach at Cannes. ohhhhhh.